Sure, I’ll get right on that…

Today, I got a call from a Tier 1 Desk Monkey stating a user needed their account set up, and they gave me the ticket number. I immediately noticed a rather glaring problem…

The user freely admitted he had once been an employee at the site some 8 years prior, but just decided to stop by to help out. Note that said facility is a federal building and this user had to (presumably) got through a couple checkpoints to get to the office, but the fact he just decided to show up after 8 years gone and magically expected to be able to request an account with full access to $patientDatabase and everything else was several steps beyond ludicrous. Even funnier was when he insisted I create his accounts immediately, I simply told him “So, you want me to violate the law, risk getting fired, violate HIPAA, and several other things, all because you, on your own admission and on a whim, came in after 8 years to “help out”? Sorry, but the rules are there for a very good reason, and I’ve already added this information to the ticket for $facilityDirector to review. Have a nice day.” *click*

Guess you didn’t get the memo…

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Today, I got a call from a Tier 3 Desk Monkey, stating a site was experiencing a major disruption and they wanted it elevated to my level for support. The Desk Monkey stated (and I quote), “A fax machine is down, and they’re claiming it affects patient care & want it fixed immediately.” I almost spit out my water when I heard that. I had to get the Desk Monkey to explain to me why a single person experiencing a problem with a single fax machine was of sufficient merit to warrant a call to Tier 3 Region-level support. He said the user dropped the “patient care” phrase, and even if it’s a bald-faced lie, they have to proceed with it. He went on to say the user was trying to send a fax to a number and the number was busy, so he called support, claiming it was a patient care issue. To his credit, when the Desk Monkey asked what the user was sending, the user replied that he was faxing a takeout order to a local restaurant.

Yes, boys and girls, you read that right. A single user faxing a takeout order to a restaurant called for help when the number was busy, instead of… oh, I dunno, calling the restaurant to place the order, or using this handy-dandy thing we know as the Internet to place an order online, and then claiming this was a patient care issue when their fax couldn’t get through. Guess they didn’t get the memo that we now live in the 21st century…

Vurt da Furk?

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Today, a former coworker of mine emailed me and told me a local tech was having some kind of trouble with a website, so I quickly replied back “What’s the URL?”

His response: “The website is slow”… not the URl, not any other piece of pertinent info, just that some website somewhere in some part of the Internet was slow… And mind you, the person who emailed me was supposedly hired for his networking expertise…